Four bad reasons your brain makes you seek for advice

Stoics practice objectivity throughout their lives, to see things as they are, nothing more, nothing less. Research shows that while we give advice to others we think rationally but while we think for ourselves we become emotionally attached to the problem. We need to do as stoics do, that is to see things objectively.

Here is how your brain will play with you emotionally and let you seek advice for wrong reasons. Recognize them before you fall pray for them.

Low-Self Esteem

This is when you are very scared to start off the work because you are not confident on yourself to be able to produce results. This often makes you feel guilty and to compensate that, your brain searches for a reward to show your brain that you are actually putting in work and not get guilty. This is when you start looking to take advice from others which give you instant gratification of doing work.

You need to realize that, the way to start getting to work is to start the work as soon as possible. Sure, few projects need a lot of research but you have to be sure that you are doing the research and groundwork to get started soon.

FOMO (Fear of missing out)

Personally, I think, FOMO is driving current generation to the north. What if I don’t open my facebook, what if I don’t check my twitter or Instagram?. You fear that we are going to miss out on something even though you know you aren’t missing out much. You waste a lot of time on social media.

The same FOMO can be seen while seeking advice. When you are starting something new, you might feel that you might be missing on a lot of things that you do not know and need to look for advice.

You are absolutely right at this situation about wanting new information or perspective, but don’t overdo it. What you need to do it, find the right person who can help you with the information you need to know to guide you on the next step.

Confirmation Bias

In this situation you wouldn’t look for genuine advice, rather you will be looking for confirming your belief which you already have pre-decided.  You will just go in circles till you hear what you want to hear.

This is pretty common in startups and in young artists. They tell what work they are doing only to get approval from people.

Know your own intentions why you are looking for advice. When you start doing the work, you would inherently know what you are missing and you can learn from your work.

Anxiety

When you are anxious you would be vulnerable and will be prone to take even if the advice is bad.

If you are anxious about something and looking to take advice, give it some time and go for seeking advice only when your mind is a little stable.

How to avoid your mind tricks?

  • Know where are you why you are doing.
  • Be mindful of every decision you want to do and every information you need to learn.
  • Keep working – Action, Action, Action – That’s the only thing to move things forward.
  • Trust the process and move towards the unknown, be okay with you and measure your progress.
  • When you need advice, you will intuitively know.

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Manoj SuryaJayasri Recent comment authors
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Jayasri

Makes total sense. I have done this too! 😀